Lear Logistics Delivers

Lear Logistics Unveils Newest Super Bowl Ad

Lear Logistics Will Get It There! Anywhere!

Leaving one of Lear Logistic's innumerable jointly-owned facilities while wearing a fashionable Wal-Mart sun hat is none other than Lear Logistic's CEO, President, and Deputy OSHA Compliance Officer, Rick Rosen, en route to another urgent appointment in hopes of locking up some more valuable, time-sensitive "bidness."  Says Rosen, "I'm always jumpin', man!"

Wherever "there" is, Lear Logistics delivers!  Lear Logistics provides prompt, professional, and courteous delivery services throughout the globe including Dade county, Florida, believe it or not!.  Getting something from Point A to Point B quickly, reasonably, and safely is what Lear Logistics is all about. And, they do it as good as, or even better than anyone else.  

Lear Logistics has multiple service levels ranging from good to bad, including perfunctorily routed stops, rush deliveries, same day/next day services and, of course, your special requests and customized requirements above and beyond the norm which may even occasionally include the preparing of a good home-cooked meal replete with buttery biscuits and gravy. 

Dedication, discount deliveries, and even dessert.  Whether it's wherever, whichever, whomever, or whatever... think Lear Logistics! 

New Regional Offices Dedicated for Lear Logistics By Busy CEO Rosen

Newly Dedicated Western Regional Offices for Lear Logistics

Lear Logistics Announces Opening New East Coast and West Coast Regional Offices!

Lear Logistics is expanding!!

"New Regional Offices were dedicated today in an ongoing effort to further blanket the country with coast to coast service providing responsive customer support," an unidentified but bespeckled spokesman for the company announced today to a flock of attending reporters representing the Wall Street Journal, Investors Business Daily, the Trucker's Times, Drudge Report, Sports Illustrated, National Geographic, and Mad Magazine.

"Lear Logistics has a handle on everything they handle...er, rather, let's just say that nothing escapes them.  Lear Logistics is proud to announce that they now have not one, not three, but two, two regional offices with which to coordinate the tremendous volume of cargo traffic, medical supplies, and gossip that they contract for on an annual basis."

Lear Logistics now boasts state of the art regional offices on both USA coasts, or close to it.  (One's actually in Central Georgia pictured above, and the other one is in rural Kansas someplace pictured below on a rather rainy day.  But, the geographic intent is all good.)  Lear Logistics has got you covered no matter who, what, where, when, and confoundedly why.

Owner, President, CEO, and dashingly handsome Lead Warehouseman Rick Rosen was on hand to dedicate each facility simultaneously via a coordinated Live Internet Webinar this afternoon.  Rosen, though physically at the Eastern Regional Offices in Georgia, ceremoniously smashed a "virtual" bottle of champagne on each door post celebrating Lear's new expansion via the electronic wonders of the worldwide web. Cheers were heard for hundreds of cubits in either direction.   Uproarious pre-recorded applause continued for more than a minute.

Despite horribly high humidity, intermittent rain showers, and the pungent smell of rotten peaches in the air, a gathering, which would be considered an "unruly mob" in some circles, witnessed the festivities, supped complimentary warm beer, and played spirited sessions of Hackey-Sack until late into the memorable afternoon.  One never knows if these unnumbered guests at such events are invited loyal customers, idled employees, or just plain local layabouts with nothing better to do but to clap on cue and freely "wine and dine" until being politely shooed away or hastily run off by police.

Rosen skillfully glad-handed the attending Deputy Sheriff's older cousin, the lead parking attendant at the local Humane Society, and the assistant Postmaster General while multi-tasking between seemingly incessant calls on his cell phone, furious fly swatting, counting and recounting the loose change in his pants pockets, and indefatigably chomping his jaws with the non-stop nibbling of leftover "sun dried" luncheon meats which had been "curing" in the open under the Georgia sun since earlier that morning on a sparsely decorated wooden picnic table.*    

As far as future worldwide efforts at Lear Logistics, Rosen tipped his hand just a bit.  Despite possessing an  obvious "team-player" bias and relishing in the magic of this moment, Rosen whimsically quipped that he "has always wanted to visit Sudan" and for that reason alone it might "make a great International HQ."

Traditionally, that's exactly how all sophisticated decisions are made at Lear Logistics, on the fearless fly.


*The aforementioned details, events, and personalities have been lavishly massaged by the author who took untold literary license in blending fact with fiction.  Please enjoy the levity and lightheartedness and remember, Lear's a darned fine company with a sense of humor* to boot.

    

    Newly Dedicated (not newly built) Eastern Regional Offices for Lear Logistics

*The author of  this article took literary license to spoof and exaggerate at will.

Lost and Found

Some of this week's items featured in our Lost and Found include:

• a whole case of Gideon Bibles with an address label which reads "Holiday Inn"
• lots of unrefrigerated luncheon meats and exotic cheeses
• party hats and napkins featuring Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet
• two burros with weathered leather saddles branded "University of Tampa"
• 38 open bottles of beer
• a used deck of sticky playing cards
• 14 new Air Jordan sneakers, all left footed, with laces
• an expired insurance policy from Aflac
• two drums of used motor oil, 5W-30 weight, with a Schlitz tapper attached
• a brass Merrill Lynch sign weighing in excess of 450 pounds

If you believe any of these items belong to you, or you have information which could assist us in returning these items to their rightful owners, please email us at our phone number immediately.